


The Insomniac Club

by astrangerenters



Category: Final Fantasy XII
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-03
Updated: 2007-04-03
Packaged: 2017-10-26 07:37:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/280453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrangerenters/pseuds/astrangerenters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She knew that some line was being crossed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Insomniac Club

The Princess of Dalmasca shivered as the harsh night air chilled her to the bone. She had not expected the ancient lighthouse to be so drafty, but so much of the Pharos at Ridorana was unexpected. She and her companions had been scaling the floors for the entire day, and it felt as if there was no end in sight. At the suggestion of a very tired Penelo, the party had chosen a quiet hallway off the never ending staircases to make camp for the night. It would be better to face the lighthouse again refreshed than to trudge up the steps in exhaustion in the dead of night.

The weight of the Sword of Kings seemed to grow heavier on Ashe's back as the day had gone on, and she was grateful for a chance to set it down on the ground. The fiends in the Pharos had been relentless, so their current night's camp was a miraculous find on Reddas' part. Ashe was still unsure of what path she would choose when the party reached the highest ascent, and she had overheard several of her companions mumbling about the choices that lay ahead. Would she destroy the Sun-Cryst or use it for revenge? The Princess felt plagued by the choice she knew she had to make, and seeing the image of Rasler in the Occurian lair had troubled her. Why had she been chosen to bear so heavy a burden?

The party rested around the dying embers of a small fire, the snores of her companions alerting her to the knowledge that she was the only one who remained awake. Ashe longed for the ability to switch off her mind and simply rest, but in so dangerous and portentous a place as the Pharos, she knew it would be impossible. The chilly air and dull roar of the cataract outside would not cease, so the Princess shrugged off her thin blanket and moved away from the sleeping party. Perhaps sitting apart from everyone else would allow her to focus on tomorrow's decision. She could feel Basch stir at her movement, so she waited until he rolled over before tiptoeing out into the hallway and out of the sleeping party's earshot.

Ashe discovered that she was not the only one struggling with sleep as she found Balthier perched on one of the stone staircases, staring at nothing in particular. She approached quietly, but not soundlessly so as not to startle the sky pirate. The Princess sat down on the steps beside him, and he greeted her with a quick nod of his head.

"It took me ages to get Basch to settle down, and now you're going to insist on taking the watch as well?" her companion muttered.

Ashe grinned. "Not quite. I'm sure we're safe enough to go without a watch tonight. I just can't sleep."

"Then welcome to the insomniac club," he responded with a shrug of his shoulders. They settled into a long, but comfortable silence. Ashe closed her eyes and listened to the distant sound of falling water outside. Although she was still rather cold, she was grateful that Balthier was sitting beside her, offering a small bit of warmth. The Princess was hesitant to voice it aloud, but in between her myriad thoughts of restoring Dalmasca and pondering her decision in the Pharos, she considered how she felt about the sky pirate.

She knew that it was silly of her to even consider him as something more than a comrade in arms. She definitely knew that his career choice did not lend itself to being part of a royal entourage, but Ashe found herself growing fonder of the dashing pirate. When she had first met him in the waterway beneath her capital, she had found him arrogant and presumptuous. She still thought these things about him, of course, but he had joined her cause and followed her all around her known world. He had also led her to his former home, probably against his own personal feelings. It was that sacrifice for her sake that had brought about a change in Ashe's feelings towards him, but it was nothing more than a girlish fantasy, wasn't it? She had much more important things to worry about at present, not the least of which being the enormous crystal that awaited her at the summit of the lighthouse.

But despite all of that, she finally felt her worries dissipate as she sat beside him with dozens of floors above and beneath their feet. He was humming some tune under his breath as she leaned back on her elbows, stretching her legs out. It was not a song Ashe knew, but the low humming of Balthier's voice made her feel safe. It also had the unfortunate side effect of making her feel like her stomach was tightening into knots. She opened her eyes and looked up, seeing nothing but endless stairs above her.

"What song is that?" she asked him then, tilting her head to glance at the side of his face. He kept humming, and she realized that he hadn't even noticed her question. Ashe cleared her throat, and the pirate was startled out of his reverie.

Balthier leaned back in an imitation of her current position so he could talk to her. He faced her and gave her an apologetic grin. "I'm sorry, what was that, Princess?"

She smiled back softly. "You were humming something. Anything I would know?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "Unless you do a lot of pub crawling, I don't think you would know that one. It's a drinking song from Balfonheim." He scooted up off of the stair and lay down on the landing, placing his hands under his head to gaze upward into the endless maze of steps above them. "I can't even think of how many establishments Fran has had to drag me away from, screaming that song at the top of my lungs."

Ashe smirked at his explanation. So much of Balthier's past was a mystery to her, but she found it very unsurprising to learn that he drank and caroused like any other sky pirate. The Princess shifted to join him on the landing as well. It would be much too forward to lie down as he was, so she stayed seated, tucking her legs beneath her and leaned her weight on one arm. The stone landing felt cool and rough beneath her hand.

"Do you miss it?" she inquired, looking down at his placid features as his eyes darted all over the heights above him. "The drinking and the pirating and all that? It must be irritating for you to fight for Dalmasca's freedom when you could be downing a pint or two and enjoying the embrace of one of your tavern wenches."

He laughed merrily at her comment, but he wasn't openly denying her accusation. "I wouldn't describe our journey as irritating, Princess. Besides, it has been a refreshing change of scenery to share the company of royalty instead of wenches, as you call them."

"I suppose I will take that as a compliment," she replied. The Princess took a deep breath and closed her eyes again, inhaling the salty sea air that drifted throughout the lighthouse. Ashe didn't know why she hadn't taken more time to get to know any of her companions, especially Balthier. They fought every day tirelessly to assist her, but she only knew superficial things about them.

She knew about Vaan's brother and Penelo's parents, scattered inferences about Fran's Viera clan, and of course Ashe had reevaluated her views toward Basch. It would seem that while she learned about Balthier's past in brief snippets at the Phon Coast that day, there was still so much she wanted to learn. She didn't need to learn his reason for being. She knew that the quest for treasure was his bread and butter, but Ashe felt this niggling sensation to learn all the little things that friends knew about each other.

Surely there was no harm in asking, she thought. He could answer or he could refuse. But she had no idea how to broach the subject. What am I supposed to say? Balthier, what's your favorite color? Favorite childhood memory? Ashe smiled ruefully at her current train of thought and shook her head. There were so many more important considerations for her this night than these minor details about her companion's life.

The Princess opened her eyes and was going to stand up, but she noticed that he had been watching her with a very curious look. She immediately turned aside and away from his eyes, but she could feel a blush creeping into her cheeks. I'm all worried about asking him silly things, and he dares to stare at me?

"I'm sorry," she muttered and began examining her fingernails systematically; hoping that something mundane would clear her thoughts. He was watching me, she thought. Why am I the one who is embarrassed?

The sky pirate turned onto his side, resting his elbow on the ground with his chin propped on his hand. "Sorry for what? You look like you're about to fall asleep sitting up over there, and I'm not really in the mood to carry you to your bed. I don't need the Captain catching me in the middle of something chivalrous."

"I'm not tired," she protested, and she knew that that was the truth. Ashe met his eyes in challenge, trying to play the staring game right back at him. She saw a small gleam in his eye at her daring gaze, and he chuckled.

"Well then if we're both not tired, then what do you suggest we do?" he inquired playfully, raising an eyebrow.

She felt her blush deepen at his suggestive tone, and she wished that she could be less transparent. It was so easy for him to get her off her guard. Ashe gathered her courage and smiled at him mischievously. "There is something I've been dying to know, Balthier," she replied, surprised at her own ability to be so overtly flirtatious.

Ashe saw him shift a bit uncomfortably under her gaze, but he corrected himself almost immediately. His usual playful grin returned, and he shifted slightly to lay a bit closer to where she was sitting. "Ask away, your majesty," he whispered. She could feel his eyes searching her face, and he was now close enough that she could smell a faint trace of gunpowder intermingled with some exotic cologne. She was very much aware that he was now at perfect eye level with her chest, and one of his feet was dangerously close to one of her own.

She wouldn't let him get away with that, she vowed. "What is your favorite color?" she inquired, trying to seem as earnest as she could. His face fell in disappointment at her question, and he rolled onto his back once more, a more appropriate distance between them.

"You've been dying to know that have you?" he muttered. He placed one arm beneath his head to prop it up and laid his other hand on his stomach. He drummed his fingers rhythmically, and Ashe watched his chest rise and fall as she awaited an answer. She groaned internally at the knowledge that Balthier could even make the simple act of breathing seem enticing to her. But she knew that she had unsettled him and his nervous fingers betrayed that. Score one for Ashe, she thought.

He stayed silent for a moment, and Ashe decided to speak up. "Mine's red, in case you were wondering," she offered.

She nearly laughed as he rolled his eyes at her. "Gold," he said finally, back to his old tricks. Ashe had expected no less from him. She wondered if he would continue this questions game, and she was very pleased when he did. "Who is your favorite sky pirate?" he asked, winking at her.

The Princess knew her real answer immediately, but since he appeared to be in as playful of a mood as she, Ashe decided to goad him further. "Fran," she responded with a smile.

He pretended to be hurt deeply by her answer. "Princess, you break my heart. If you had asked me who my favorite aristocrat was, I wouldn't have dared to insult you by saying Lord Larsa."

"Noted. But I stand by my answer," she teased. Her legs were beginning to feel prickly from sitting in one position, so she sat upright and began rubbing her calf to wake it up. After a few moments of this, Ashe noticed that it had gotten quiet, and she felt like she was being watched. She turned back to face Balthier, and she noticed him quickly returning his gaze to the sights of the lighthouse around them.

The air in the room seemed to shift with the realization that he had been staring at her for a second time. She knew that some line was being crossed. Hell, she thought, the line was being crossed, jumped upon, picked up and twirled like a baton, broken into pieces, erased from mankind's awareness, et cetera et cetera. Ashe wondered how much longer their conversation ought to continue. They were exhausted from fighting and surely it wasn't a stretch to imagine seeking the comfort and warmth of another Hume in the drafty old lighthouse. Balthier was within arm's reach, and every bit of Ashe's willpower was currently being expended to prevent her from lying down at his side and behaving like one of his tavern wenches.

Balthier began tapping his fingers on his stomach again, and he sighed heavily. "Since my last query was such a disaster, I would like to ask another." Ashe nodded her assent, and she knew that whatever he asked next would be undoubtedly inappropriate. And she was right.

"What is your favorite article of clothing?" he asked innocently. Tap tap tap. Tap tap. She would not meet his eyes, instead staring at his long fingers drumming at an ever increasing tempo against the material of his vest.

Ashe knew they were in very dangerous territory, perhaps more dangerous than the Pharos around them. She decided that the best way to deal with the question was to answer truthfully. Hopefully he would do the same and allow them to move their conversation back in a purely friendly direction.

"I don't really have a favorite," she said, considering his question thoughtfully. "But I suppose I like my boots well enough." He raised his eyebrows at her answer but said nothing. Ashe scowled at him. "What? They have kept me walking on this difficult journey. That's my answer! What's yours?"

The tapping of his fingers ceased, and he sat up suddenly. The sky pirate only offered her the side of his face as he bent one leg and stretched out the other. One arm remained at his side and the other perched on his knee. He looked around the Pharos innocently as he gave his answer.

"Your skirt," he replied simply.

He didn't! "Balthier…" she warned him. He turned his head to smile at her. "You cheated!" Ashe protested, trying to conceal her very flustered reaction to two simple words.

The pirate snickered. "I never said it had to be an article of clothing you yourself owned." Ashe looked down to her clothes and had never been so acutely aware of what she was wearing. Her skirt had been a logical choice in the desert heat of Dalmasca, and now she wanted nothing more than to wrap a blanket around her legs and hide from the wandering eyes of the man beside her.

She stood up then and made to leave, but he stood up as well and stared down at her. He was far closer than he had to be and despite the drafty air, Ashe felt very hot and very dizzy all at once. The Princess tugged at the bottom hem of her skirt, longing to run away and hide behind Basch. He would protect her from this flirtatious pirate wouldn't he?

But she couldn't will her legs to move, and Balthier folded his arms across his chest. He gave her a quizzical stare. "You can't leave now. It's your turn."

"I really should get back to sleep, Balthier," she said, trying to sidestep away from him, but he would have none of it. He wouldn't allow her to look away, and Ashe saw something explicitly forbidden written across his features.

"You started this little game, Princess. Your turn." He dared to grasp her by the shoulders and gave her a little push, forcing her downwards. She sat down on the steps and could not bear to look at him. The way he had just looked at her was not one she had seen from the sky pirate before. Before he had simply been teasing her and messing around, but this look was much different. Ashe could tell that Balthier knew where this game was going, and he welcomed it.

He sat down beside her, again insinuating himself in her personal space. The Princess gripped each knee with a hand and tried to relax. She could hear him breathing beside her, the pace quickening as much as hers was. Ashe could feel her heart pounding within her chest, and she knew that she was shivering slightly, but not from the cold. Ashe could not look at him, but she could hear his hands tapping his knees absentmindedly.

The Princess had wanted to learn more about Balthier, and she knew there was probably no turning back. She might learn more than was necessary if they kept up this little flirting game. Ashe felt like she would collapse if she didn't come up with a question soon, but she had no idea what to ask. She licked her lips and tried to think, but her thoughts were entirely muffled. All she could think about was how close he sat beside her on the steps, the scent of him entering her nostrils and mixing with the salty breeze, and how easy it would be to move her hand a few inches to grasp his where it was tapping his knee.

"Having trouble?" he asked her, breaking the silence. "I could suggest a question." His voice was still steady, despite the continuous tapping.

She still could not bear to look into his face. "No, I will come up with one of my own choosing, thank you."

He stopped tapping and nudged her arm with his elbow. "Then hurry up."

Ashe felt her lips tremble. "Don't rush me, Balthier," she begged him. She was disappointed by her inability to stop the question that was forming in her mind. It was utterly irresponsible. She needed to leave, but he kept pestering her.

"I already know what I'm going to ask you next," he responded in a matter-of-fact way. She could feel his eyes watching her again.

"I said be patient…"

"Ashe, if you don't ask your bloody question…"

"What was your favorite kiss?" she blurted out, immediately clapping her hand over her mouth in surprise.

Now she'd done it. Now she had clearly broken the boundaries of their friendship, and there was no way she could take it back. But she was going to try. Ashe turned to him finally and apologized. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'll ask something else. You hurried me along…" she complained.

Looking at him had been a huge mistake. He had the wickedest grin plastered across his face at her daring inquiry, and Ashe knew he had been expecting something along those lines the whole time. "No," he said in a deeper tone than she had ever heard. She thought she would melt at the sound of his voice. He leaned forward in a conspiratorial manner and whispered in her ear. "I definitely want to hear your response to that one."

He was now far too close for comfort, and Ashe scooted a few inches away from him. She had to stall him! "Maybe you should go first?" she requested, wincing at the goosebumps that were now speckling her arms and legs. Whispering in her ear had been her undoing.

"I don't know, Princess," he responded, considering her words. "I'm sure you have one hell of an answer if you were so bold to ask that of a leading man."

Ashe shook her head vehemently, looking everywhere but in his eyes. She tried her best to focus on some part of the wall behind him, but he kept moving his head to meet her gaze. "I don't really have one…" she muttered.

He pounced on the opportunity. "Out with it. Favorite kiss."

She had never been so embarrassed in her entire life. The Princess wondered if her next remarks were even audible to the sky pirate. "Please, just tell me yours first."

He relented and leaned away from her. Balthier seemed to really be searching for a satisfactory answer, and Ashe knew he was probably recollecting every maiden he possibly could. She knew there were probably dozens of them, and she wondered if he even remembered them all. As for herself, her answer was simply the kiss that pronounced her and Rasler husband and wife, but she knew that such an answer would probably hamper the direction of their conversation. But maybe that was all for the best? She didn't have time to talk about these frivolous things when they had a far more important mission ahead.

Balthier finally seemed satisfied with an answer, and he smiled at the memory. "The first time I kissed Fran…which turned out to be the last time, I'm afraid."

This was definitely a surprise. "You kissed Fran?" she asked in astonishment, knowing that her tone sounded far more jealous than she had intended.

He chuckled softly. "I got a black eye from her for that bit of daring. My assumptions about her feelings were wrong. But it was worth it."

The Princess grinned, able to picture such an occurrence quite easily. "I can definitely see Fran doing that. What were the circumstances?"

He poked her in the arm. "Oh no you don't, Princess. I gave my answer. It's time for yours."

She looked down at her feet and tried to reconcile the desire she had to slap him with the desire she had to do something else. "I didn't mean to ask the question. I really don't have an answer for you."

The sky pirate wrapped his arm around her shoulder and gave her a squeeze. "Come now, Ashe. You were a married woman! Surely there's something monumental to recollect." He acted the role of a playful friend vocally, but she could not ignore the fact that he was now rubbing her arm in a manner that a friend never would.

Ashe remained silent as Balthier let his fingers dance across the skin of her arm. Everything else around her seemed to vanish, and all she knew was the scent of him surrounding her. Her heart was beating so fast it wouldn't surprise her if it leapt out of her body and scampered off.

Balthier was getting impatient with her. "For heaven's sake, woman. Out with it!" he demanded.

Ashe turned to him and grabbed his face between her hands and touched her lips to his gently, tentatively. She could feel a very light smattering of stubble on his cheeks under her fingers as she kissed him. The Princess finally realized the totality of what she was doing and broke away.

He pressed his forehead to hers and expelled a breath. "Well, now you get points for daring. That was quite lovely." They sat in silence, neither willing to break apart yet.

Ashe licked her lips, enjoying the taste of him that lingered behind. "Nope. That definitely wasn't it," she teased.

He pulled away from her in confusion. She noticed that his eyes had a glazed over expression, his pupils dark and dilated. "Wasn't what?" he inquired slowly, struggling to find words.

She exhaled, trying to hold in her desire to berate herself and scream in excitement at the same time. "Wasn't my favorite kiss," she responded, dropping her hands away from his face.

Balthier scowled at her playfully. "You took advantage of me! How could that have been anything but the experience of a lifetime?"

Ashe felt positively filthy at her retort. "Maybe I expected more from a leading man. Would you like to try again?"

While his eyes had been dark before, they were now impenetrable as he smirked at her words. She leaned forward to kiss him once more, but he stopped her with one hand. Balthier held her face, placing his thumb over her lips to silence her.

"Oh no you don't, Princess. I'll not have another bit of affection stolen without my consent," he warned her. His thumb pushed her bottom lip downward, and he rubbed it back and forth across her lip ever so slowly. This simple movement was enough to make her lightheaded. She let him lay her back against the landing, his other hand cradling her head. He took his thumb away from her lips and leaned his weight on that arm.

Ashe closed her eyes and allowed him to place small, feathery kisses along her jaw. She was terrified of being caught; knowing the rest of their companions laid just paces away in the hallway. He finally crushed his lips against her own, kissing her until she felt like she would never get a chance to breathe again. She wrapped her arms around his neck, running her fingers through his hair. He stole his lips away again, this time trailing kisses onto her neck and down towards her collarbone.

When she moaned softly at his actions, he moved his lips back to hers once more quickly and released her. Balthier stood up and cleared his throat, looking very proud of himself. Ashe could not move and felt like she would never want to again. She struggled to regain her breath and looked up into his face where he was looking down at her.

She finally sat up and allowed him to lend her a hand to stand. Ashe felt very unsteady and allowed him to hold her shoulders to keep her upright. Her legs felt wobbly, and she still fought to gain back some focus. "That may have been it," she murmured, feeling like she was in a daze.

"For me too," he muttered. The realization of what they had just done seemed to hit them both at the same time. They had moved beyond playfulness. Ashe wondered about the consequences.

She looked up at him. "What do we do now?" Ashe was beginning to emerge from the dreamlike state she had been enjoying since she had first kissed him, and she felt incredibly guilty. In just a few short hours they would be clambering up these steps once more, and now they would have this experience between them.

"We do nothing," he replied, meeting her gaze.

"What do you mean nothing?" she asked him. This wasn't just a flirtation. It had gone beyond that the second she allowed him to lay her down. She shivered at her actions as much as the cold drafty air of the Pharos.

He rubbed her arms to warm her, and she could not find a reason to protest. "What can we do, Princess? We have a busy day ahead. We will have time to consider the implications of what just happened later."

Balthier was right, she thought. They would have all the time in the world once they restored Dalmasca. Ashe had to focus on the days ahead and couldn't allow…whatever this new relationship with Balthier was to cloud her judgment.

Her judgment! Ashe's world came crashing down around her as she remembered the very important task that awaited her at the highest ascent. "Tell me truthfully, Balthier. Do you think I will make the decision that is best for Dalmasca?"

He knew immediately that she was talking about the Sun-Cryst. Would Ashe choose to destroy it or use it to seek revenge? But by the same token, she knew that same question would come up again whenever they discussed that night's activities. What decision about Balthier would be best for Dalmasca? For Ashe herself?

Balthier kissed her forehead soothingly. "I wouldn't have flown my precious airship all the way here if I didn't believe you capable of making the right decision. But I think you need to rest now." Ashe relaxed at his reassurance, and she felt stronger knowing she had his support. Whatever her decision at the top of the Pharos, she would not face it entirely alone.

She looked at him curiously. "Aren't you going to sleep yet?"

He grinned at her. "After what we just did, I don't think I'll be able to sleep soundly for months." She smiled back, and turned to walk away.

He grabbed her hand then and pulled her back. "One more question before you go, Princess." She nodded and knew instinctively what he was going to ask her. "I have to ask again. Who is your favorite sky pirate?"

The Princess pulled his face down to hers and kissed him once more, letting him run his hands up and down her back. She broke away first and turned to whisper in his ear.

"Fran."

He laughed and turned her around. He gave her a gentle push in the direction of their sleeping companions. "Go to bed, Ashe," he muttered, and she followed his order to the letter.


End file.
